One of the hardest thing for me as a parent is dealing with the crying and whining. Perhaps not surprising to those who know me, I'm not a "kid person"; meaning, I'm not particularly enamoured with those little humans ... especially when they're crying and/or whining or not following my rules!
Yes, I understand. I've heard it all -- kids are their own people and they have personalities and characteristics all their own. You can't "change their stripes", but instead should come to "appreciate their unique qualities". Yes, yes, yes. I've read it and heard it all. I understand. I truly do. I even agree ... but it's just so bloody hard to "appreciate" them when they're crying 70% of the time you see them, and whining the other 30%! This phase is dragging me down. It's driving me crazy and I feel like I'm turning into a violent, wild-eyed rabid dog.
After a good amount of moaning and complaining, I decided to do something and find out what could be the cause of all this whining and crying. It could be because Elizabeth is "naturally sensitive" and her moods must be expressed melodramatically; OR she's seeking attention because she feels that her baby sister gets more of it?? ... Ah, ha!
If that is the reason for all her theatrics, then the solution should be simple: I will give her more attention. So recently, everyday after dinner we have Mommy and Elizabeth time. We've been doing this for several weeks now and I would love to tell you that my daughter is now the epitome of happiness and sunshine. She no longer whines nor cries, and whenever she's upset, she will tell me calmly. Right.
Unfortunately, the crying and whining is still there. Having said that, M & E time has helped in a different way. I've gotten to know her even better, and it gives me a chance to focus solely on her with no interruptions. We talk, we read, we make things together. These sessions have made me appreciate her more, and as a result, developed my patience. It reminds me how much I love her and how wonderful she is, even if she does have her episodes. During one of our talks she told me she'll stop crying when she turns 5 ... that's a whole year away. Great. Grrr!
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