I'm a Lazy (Angry) Mommy

This morning while dropping Elizabeth off at preschool, I ran into the security guard and we started a friendly chat. During this friendly chat session he asked me if I worked, and I thought to myself, if by "work" he meant do I get paid for the things I do and the time and energy I put into these things I do -- then no, I don't work. I answered with a complacent smile. "You're so lucky," he goes on to say, "you have all this time on your hands!" I was momentarily stunned but recovered quickly. "Well, I do everything a nanny does, but I just don't get paid for it!"

While driving back home, I immediately regretted my answer which I found to be too defensive. I'm sure the security guard didn't mean to demean my whole existence nor is he insinuating my role in society is insignificant; I should have just answered with a breezy smile and move on. Then I asked myself, why did I have to defend myself in the first place? Do people really think that stay-at-home moms do nothing but wash their hair and paint their nails all day? Free time? What free time?! Grrr! Maybe he doesn't have children. Let us not be too hard on him.

This whole episode reminded me of an article my friend shared on Facebook (she's also a stay-at-home mom) called "A Husband's Amazing Response To 'She's A Stay-At-Home Mom? What Does She DO All Day?'". It's a nice article.

As I'm writing this blog, I'm reminded of all the papers I had to write for my Society & Feminism class back in school. To me, feminism is about right of choice, and being respected for these choices and sometimes sacrifices that one makes. Mothers work sometimes because they need to, and sometimes they just choose to ... and I respect that. It's a choice that women should be allowed to make. There seems to be some sort of a division between these two groups, those who decide to work outside and those who stay at home. Sometimes -- not always -- I feel the divide when I talk with friends who work outside the home. We can all be so judgmental sometimes. At the end of the day, we are all trying to do what we think is best for our family and we love our children. So we are the same. Maybe.